Text 3

COLUMN:

[to GASS] I don't like his eyes.

GASS:

[to GIMBLET] He's a foolish puppy.

COLUMN:

I have seen his works and they seem to me to the most wretched, paltry, flimsy stuff that ever . . .

GASS:

What? What do you say? Why, why, I wish I could see you write so.

COLUMN:

In my opinion, the author is an errant blockhead.

GASS:

Your reason, your reason? Why, why, I think it very abominable to call a man a blockhead whom you know nothing about.

COLUMN:

Reason? I'll give you an example for your reason. As I was walking along the street I saw a vast number of swallows on the rails of an old Gothic square. They seemed to be going on their way, as Pliny says. As I was looking up, a little "outre" fellow, pulling me by the sleeve, cries: "Pray man, who do they all belong to?" I turned myself about with great contempt. Said I: "Go along you fool." "Fool," said he, "who do you call fool? I only asked you a civil question." I had a great mind to have thrashed the fellow, only he was bigger than I.

GASS:

Indeed, I do not think the man was a fool, for he seems to me to have been desirous of enquiring into the works of nature!

COLUMN:

[clenching his fists, prepares to give a formal answer to the company, but, cut off by the Philosophers' loud laugh, sits down]

OBTUSE ANGLE:

[enters] Well, Gentlemen, what is the cause of strife? [sits at COLUMN'S table]

QUID:

They're only quarreling about Voltaire...

SUCTION:

...and having a bit of fun with him...

SIPSOP:

...while endeavoring to incorporate their souls with their bodies.

Exports

JSON What's this?
As you're browsing RC, you might see small buttons scattered on various pages. These buttons let you download that page's content in a ready-to-use data file! Learn more on our RC Data page.