2755. Robert Southey to Grosvenor Charles Bedford, Easter Tuesday [16 April] 1816⁠* 

Easter Tuesday

My dear Grosvenor

All must very soon be over. I have seen him for the last time, – unless he should call for me. [1]  I am more composed than you would imagine, – but were it not for the assured hope of recovering him in another state of existence I do not think I could support the blow.

My lease may be given up in twelvemonths. If I can possibly raise the means for so expensive a removal I will quit this country; where every object in which I have been accustomed to find enjoyment must continually keep open a wound, of itself little likely to close. There is no wisdom in fostering sorrows of this kind – God knows they need it not! It is best to seek for new circumstances, & struggle against sorrow as we may. Were I certain that I could command the money necessary I would not hesitate, – but it can only come from my own exertions, & Heaven only knows whether I can come answer for them, – or how far my hand may be palsied by the blow which has reached my heart.

Talk with my brother & my Uncle about this the choice of situation, supposing the removal be possible. Somewhere within an easy distance of London – the nearer to Streatham the better

Often has the apprehension of this bereavement brought tears into my eyes at moments when otherwise I have been most happy: I hope I am resigned to it, & that when I say Gods will be done the words come from the heart as well as the lips. But my best happiness my best hope is xxxx cut up by the root, – it can spring no more in this world & it is only in fixing my thoughts & desires upon the next that I can find consolation.

God bless you

RS.