2755. Robert Southey to Grosvenor Charles Bedford, Easter Tuesday [16 April] 1816*
My dear Grosvenor
All must very soon be over. I have seen him for the last time, – unless he should call for me.  I am more composed than you would imagine, – but were it not for the assured hope of recovering him in another state of existence I do not think I could support the blow.
My lease may be given up in twelvemonths. If I can possibly raise the means for so expensive a removal I will quit this country; where every object in which I have been accustomed to find enjoyment must continually keep open a wound, of itself little likely to close. There is no wisdom in fostering sorrows of this kind – God knows they need it not! It is best to seek for new circumstances, & struggle against sorrow as we may. Were I certain that I could command the money necessary I would not hesitate, – but it can only come from my own exertions, & Heaven only knows whether I can come answer for them, – or how far my hand may be palsied by the blow which has reached my heart.
Often has the apprehension of this bereavement brought tears into my eyes at moments when otherwise I have been most happy: I hope I am resigned to it, & that when I say Gods will be done the words come from the heart as well as the lips. But my best happiness my best hope is xxxx cut up by the root, – it can spring no more in this world & it is only in fixing my thoughts & desires upon the next that I can find consolation.
God bless you
* Address: To/ G. C. Bedford Esqre/ 9. Stafford Row/ Buckingham Gate/ London
Stamped: KESWICK/ 298
Postmark: E/ 19 AP 19/ 1816
Endorsements: 16 April 1816; 16 April 1816
MS: Bodleian Library, MS Eng. Lett. c. 25. ALS; 3p.
Dating note: Easter Tuesday fell on 16 April in 1816. BACK