Text 9

ARADOBO:

Why, it came into my head that he was not.

OBTUSE ANGLE:

Why then did you say that he was?

ARADOBO:

Did I say so? Shit. I did not think I said that.

OBTUSE ANGLE:

Didn't he?

PHILOSOPHERS:

Yes.

ARADOBO:

But I meant, I, I, I can't think. Damn. Sir, I wish you'd tell me how it is.

OBTUSE ANGLE:

[chin in hand] Whenever you think, you must always think for yourself.

ARADOBO:

How, sir? [chin in hand] Whenever I think, I must think myself? I think I do. In the first place...

OBTUSE ANGLE:

Poo! Poo! Don't be a fool.

SUCTION:

Hang the mathematics!

QUID:

Let's have some rum and water. [goes to bar]

SIPSOP:

Mr. Aradobo?

ARADOBO:

[Walks to PHILOSOPHERS' table; SIPSOP and SUCTION stand, he takes QUID'S seat; they circle him. All conducted with the solemnity of an oral examination.]

SUCTION:

Tell us, Mr. Aradobo, about Chatterton.

ARADOBO:

In the first place I think, I think in the first place that Chatterton was clever at Fissic, Follogy, Pistinology, Aridology, Arography, Transmography, Phizorgraphy, Hogamy, Hatomy, and hall that, but, in the first place he eat wery little, wickly -- that is, he slept very little which he brought into a consumsion; and what was that that he took? Fissic or somethink -- and so died!

[Examiners and everyone else is quite impressed by answer. SUCTION and SIPSOP circle once more]